Dealing With Harassment

A Comparative Study of Trainings

Cairo, Egypt

We had a speaker today, a professor who has lived in Egypt pretty much all of my life, since she was a CASA Fellow back in 1982 and married an Egyptian. She gave us some interesting vocabulary for the moments when you just can't keep your mouth shut, like "Act like a man!" and "You've been brought up in the gutter!" She also gave some interesting background to why tourists and other Westerners are such frequent targets of scams and overpriced goods. The average Egyptian teacher makes LE300, which is about $60 a month; the average government work, LE400. Our rent alone is twice that, our stipend 4x as much, so by Egyptian standards we're very, very rich. The economic disparity is far, far greater than Jordan, and the competition for what jobs exist is far tougher.

She told some really interesting stories about various students and friends of hers over the years, but it was still a lecture. I found myself comparing it to the lesson on harassment that we did way back in Peace Corps Pre-Service Training in Ma'in, and found myself almost laughing out loud in the middle of the lecture at a memory of Jesse.

Our main objective in Peace Corps was to learn the language, so after drilling the terms for a bit, Jenn had us roleplay harassment scenarios. Jeremy and Jesse, as the only guys, were naturally chosen to play the role of the creepy Arab man. Jeremy is too sweet of a guy to do a convincing creep, but Jesse.... Even after Jesse went back to his fiancee in America, we were still talking about how well he played his part. It quickly ceased to feel like a roleplay and started to feel like you really were being stalked...!

In any case, I've determined that I learned a valuable lesson in Jordan. When my roommate and I walk down the street in Cairo, she's constantly bristling at the hissing and whistling of the men we pass ... but I don't even hear it! And the last 18 months in Jordan, when I was making 8x what most Jordanians could make at the same job, I became quite comfortable with what this professor termed "noblesse oblige," the idea that the few guinea that we're scammed of on a regular basis here doesn't make much difference to us ... but can mean a rare opportunity for protein for dinner that night for an Egyptian.

Farewell Tour of Jordan

King's Highway, Jordan
(Madaba, Macchareus, Mujib, Kerak, Wadi Musa)

From an Ammani evening

As we walked around the Castle Hill in Amman last night, it occurred to me that several of my favorite pictures from Jordan were taken on that hill. This morning, as we were winding our way through southern Madaba and Jabal Bani Hamida, I realized that while I was showing Wade all my favorite places in Jordan, I'm also saying goodbye.

From Farewell Tour

I'm excited about my move to Cairo for a CASA Fellowship. It's a great honor and a fabulous opportunity to immerse myself in Standard Arabic (as much as that's even possible) and learn the Egyptian dialect that I find so challenging. But there are so many things I love about Jordan, so many things I haven't seen (Umm aj-Jammal, Shaumari Reserve, etc.), so many things I haven't done (Petra-Wadi Araba by camel, climb Jabal Rum and the tallest mountain in Jordan, etc.), so many friends I'm going to miss. I've spent 4 years of my life here, and that's no small thing. So if my photos are captioned with nostalgia, well, it's a fair representation of how I'm feeling these days.

From Farewell Tour

Ma'in Reunion ... with Sushi!

Washington, DC, USA

From My White Wintery Hell

Today I met up with Naureen and Jennifer at Cafe Asia for sushi happy hour for a mini Ma'in reunion. Jennifer was our LCF (Language and Cultural Trainer) in our training village of Ma'in during Peace Corps Pre-Service Training. It was great to catch up on the Peace Corps friends we're still in touch with, and on each other's lives. (As I've said before, I'm terrible at keeping in touch!) Then we headed out for frozen yogurt near Dupont Circle. It was another great dinner date. I would so love to be living in DC with all these fun, fascinating people!

From My White Wintery Hell

I also realized that I might have the perfect job for Jennifer in Amman. I seem to be getting quite good at this, finding jobs for other people. I found Heba her job at UNHCR, I got Andy an offer at the Modern American School. Now, if only I could just find a job for myself, too! Maybe I should try my own business: finding jobs for other people!

She Puts the 'ifer in Joshifer!

Amman, Jordan

My first Arabic teacher is back in Jordan for a brief visit to her family, and we went out to dinner tonight. When I came to Jordan with Peace Corps, Jennifer was my Language and Culture Coordinator (LCF). She spent 5 hours 4 days a week teaching Arabic to me, Naureen, Audra and Jeremy (and a couple other trainees who left early). She also lived with us in the village of Ma'in, right next door to me. It was the first time she'd lived outside of Amman, and it was as much a culture shock for her as it was for us. Even though she, a Jordanian Christian, was living with Jordanian Christians in a village that had traditionally always been Christian, it was like another country. (I've always said that Amman isn't Jordan, it may as well be Eastern Europe minus the vodka!) Jennifer and I spent many evenings working through our culture shock together, and we stayed in touch throughout the rest of my Peace Corps Volunteer service.

Little did any of us know at the time, but Peace Corps Trainee Josh had a serious case of love at first sight of Jennifer, and not long after we became full-fledged Peace Corps Volunteers, he started getting to know Jennifer a little better. He was very discreet, and it was months before anyone but Josie knew anything about it! But once the secret was out, things moved fast. They were together as much as possible, and we started referring to them by just one name: Joshifer. By the end of my Peace Corps service, they were married, and on their way to a new life in Kansas City, Missouri.I kept telling Jennifer she was the bravest person I knew. Not only was she getting married and embarking on a new life a deux, but she was leaving all her family and friends behind and moving to America, too! She knew it would be hard, she told me tonight, and she'd thought she was prepared. But when I went to their American wedding reception in Missouri later that summer, it was clear that it was harder than expected. The sounds at night were different, she was struggling to find a job, she didn't have any friends except her sister-in-law to keep her company while Josh was at work.... Having grown up with bars on her windows like everyone in Jordan, she didn't feel safe in her home in America. It was a much greater challenge than she expected.

Three years later, she's quite well acclimated to the States. She and Josh are now living in Washington, DC, which is a city full of Arabs and Returned Peace Corps Volunteers, including many of our fellow Volunteers from Jordan. Jennifer has old friends and new ones, a fascinating job as a media analyst, and a husband she adores and who adores her. But it's been 3 years since she's seen her family and friends, longer than she expected, and that has started to take it's toll on her now.

It was fun, too, to compare notes on how Jordan had changed since we left it three years ago. She confirmed what I had only suspected (not being particularly familiar with Amman in my Peace Corps days), that women were generally far more conservatively dressed - more hijab and niqab than ever. She had noticed in Cozmo grocery store a phenomenon I became very familiar with at the Modern American School, children who spoke English with a heavy Arab accent, but hardly spoke Arabic at all, most likely because they'd been raised, not by their parents, but by their Filipina or Indonesian or Sri Lankan maids (of which Jennifer says there are a lot more than she's used to seeing). We compared our impressions of Jebel Webdeh, too. I know that neighborhood as the trendy place for young expats - students and young professionals - to live and hang out, but Jennifer knows it as the very Arab neighborhood where she grew up.

It's so nice to see her back in Jordan! I only wish she could stay longer....

Panorama to Mujib

Ma'een -> Dead Sea -> Wadi Mujib, Jordan

The last time we cycled down the Dead Sea Panorama Road, I got three quarters of the way down the hill and realized that every muscle in my body was tensed almost to the point of cramping. Whether consciously or not quite, I was terrified of wiping out the whole way down. This time, although there were plenty of people who passed me on the way down, I was much more relaxed. I feel much more confident of my balance and competence on a bike now.

At least on the downhill, anyway.

The second half of the trip, though, South along the Dead Sea to Wadi Mujib, was a very different story. For one thing, it was mostly uphill, and on all three hills I eventually got down to first gear and had to disembark and walk, and on the last hill, I just gave up altogether and flagged down Nader. Ammar, however, was having none of that! When he found me in Nader's truck, he read me the riot act, and convinced me to get back on the bike, which I'm glad I did (especially since it was all downhill again from there!)

King's Highway Tour

Criss-Crossing the Backbone of Jordan

Amman -> Madaba -> the Dead Sea -> Kerak -> Wadi Musa & Petra, Jordan

Despite short notice, a full work schedule, and the threat of snow, I was determined that Philip get to see the highlights of Jordan in his brief stay here. As luck would have it, my co-worker John also had a friend, Ann, visiting from London, and had hired a driver to take us down the King's Highway to Madaba, the Dead Sea, Kerak and Wadi Musa, the town at the entrance of Petra National Park. Philip and I decided to tag along, despite my corporate client's warnings that it was supposed to snow and be miserable all weekend long. Philip agreed, it would be silly to come all this way and not even get a brief, rainy glimpse of Petra!

So we left early, in order to arrive in Madaba as St. George's Church opened in the morning. The Greek Orthodox church features a Sixth Century mosaic map of the Classical World, one of the oldest and most accurate maps of the Trans-Jordan region, though the part of the map depicting Egypt is quite skewed, so that the Nile River runs perpendicular and not parallel to the Jordan River and the Dead Sea. Archaeologists interpret this to mean that the mosaic makers were probably from the Trans-Jordan, and were only able to construct the Egyptian section of the map from texts and word of mouth.

As it turned out, the weather was simply beautiful today, warm and sunny and perfect for a trip down the Dead Sea, and along the backbone of Jordan, through the mountains that formed the edge of the Crusader kingdoms. Back in the period of the film "Kingdom of Heaven," the European Crusaders had built a series of castles along the mountain range beyond the Jordan River: Aqaba, Wu'ayra (in Petra National Park), Kerak (which features prominently in the film), Shobak, Ajlun, Krak de Chevaliers and others. They were built at such intervals that signal fires could be lit at one castle at night, and seen at the next one north and south. We visited one of the best preserved of those, Kerak Castle. One of the fun things about archaeological sites in Jordan is that they're poorly labeled (and likely poorly understood as well), so you mostly get to make things up as you go along. Sadly, I couldn't locate what Auntie Viv and I thought was probably the kitchens, but we had some fun wandering around and wondering.

After lunch, we went out to the Desert Highway and hurried down to Wadi Musa so that we could make it to Petra By Night ... which was rather more fun when I came with my parents and there were about fifty people, instead of a couple hundred. Being one of the New Seven Wonders of the World has made Petra an awfully crowded place! On the other hand, I could tell my Arabic was better, because I understood what the rababah player was singing!

Return to Madaba

Ma'een, Madaba, Jordan

From Dead Sea Panorama Downhill

This week's trip with Tareef Cycling Club was the Dead Sea Panorama trip, starting midway between the town of Ma'een and the Ma'een Hot Springs, and coasting down the hill to the Dead Sea for tea and manakeesh. On the way there, the bus passed through the town of Ma'een, and I was reminded of Naureen, Jennifer, Jeremy and Audra, my fellow Peace Corps Trainees for Pre-Service Training in Ma'een. I could still pick out the home of my host mother, Auntie Nayfa Haddadeen, and the center where we had our Arabic clases, the little restaurant where we got falafel, and the girls' school where I did my student teaching under the supervision of Miss Mary Haddadeen. Outwardly, not much seems to have changed since I lived there almost exactly five years ago.

The trip itself was quite a rush, as we rocketted downhill, through switchbacks and chillier weather than expected, down to the Dead Sea. It was pretty easy, but sort of nerve-wracking, too. But beautiful. Definitely beautiful.

From Dead Sea Panorama Downhill